Ahhh, I finally have connectivity. It only took about 6 weeks but KPN finally got me hooked up. When I first moved in, my realtor got me started with KPN for DSL (KPN is a local phone company for those of you in the US). A few weeks after I arrived a box came in the mail with my DSL modem, a couple of RJ11 phone cable, a RJ45 CAT5 patch cable, and this funky adapter I had never seen before. My first task was to find a phone jack in the wall.

I looked everywhere and could not find anything, which was a bit worrying. So I went back to the box and picked up that wierd adapter thing. The phone jacks in Holland are bizarre…kinda like a power plug, but not. Go to this google image page to see what I am talking about. So I started looking around for a set of four holes in that configuration.I found a set upstairs and plugged in the adapter, then the RJ11 cable into that.

The lights on the DSL modem showed power, but no DSL connection. I was heading off to somewhere so I had no time to figure out the problem that day. The following week I called the KPN number to try to get this fixed. Now one of the wierd things about Dutch customer service is that its always your fault. At least that is the impression you get because regardless of who is at fault, YOU have to pay for the call. Its a 900 number and you get charged 10 cents a minute for the priviledge of talking to a KPN representative. And if you don’t speak Dutch, then you get to guess what number to press when the automated attendant answers. There is no option for English.

When I got to someone they had me run through a series of troubleshooting steps. 15 minutes later they realised that there was no DSL connection. So the nice woman on the other side of the line said she would enter a ticket and have someone get back to me within a week. This was good because I would be in town for a week before heading off to Norway. But after a week, there was no call and I was off for a week in Oslo.

Upon my return I called KPN to find out what was going on. They said they tried to reach me and even sent a letter. I acknowledged that I did receive a letter in Dutch and thought it said that someone would be contacting me. Turns out that it said someone already tried to contact me and now it was my turn to get in touch with them. If they didn’t hear from me within 5 days, they would close the ticket and assume everything works. As I said, I was in Norway and came back after the time limit ended. As such the person on the line said that he couldn’t see what progress was made because the ticket was closed and they would have to start again. So within 5 days someone would contact me. 3 days later I got a call and the person walked me through a similar set of steps.

Guess what…no DSL connection. So they scheduled a real live human to come out and see whats going on. If it is their fault, then there would be no charge. If it is because of wiring in the house, then I have to pay…I forget what the costs were but it was something like 50 Euros per 20 minutes spent in the house. So anyway the following week someone would be coming by between 8 and 10 in the morning.

Now all this time I have been leeching off other peoples wireless connections to satisfy my torrent needs. I guess some of them have been catching on and turning on the security built into their access points. Tiscali and SMC and Dondershuisbaas all disappeared and I was stuck with no connectivity. This was painful. Ever since living on Avenue A and 3rd in Manhattan in 1995, I have had broadband access to the internet. In fact at that apartment we had a T1 (when my roommates were two java devs at Earthweb and the uber-famous blogger/web designer Heather Champ and her chihuahua Tigger).

So Tuesday rolled around and I started the day by cleaning up the mess I have managed to create in my apartment over the last few weeks. Now one would think that living out of two suitcases for a few weeks would mean there would be little chance of making a mess. Well you would be wrong to think that as the place I rented is fully furnished so I have lots of stuff to leave all over the place.

Anyway, by 8AM it was all clean and I even had a chance to stop off for coffee down the street. And there I sit, waiting for KPN to show up. At 9 there was some excitement as a bicyclist got hit by a car just outside my apartment. That got cleaned up by 930 but still no KPN. By the way, the bicyclist was uninjured and rode away on her own, but she managed to create a big traffic problem for 30 minutes.

Finally around 945 KPN showed up to see what was wrong. They looked at the modem and verified that the DSL light was in fact off. Then they went searching for the phone switch box that was somewhere inside the property. We looked on all floors but could find no exposed wires, boxes, or anything belonging to KPN. The KPN guys said they would look at the switch box on the street to see if there were any problems there and if not we could schedule a time when the landlord could come by with a key to get into other areas of the apartment.

Ugh. So after 15 minutes they came back smiling. They said I was lucky and that it was a problem in their switch box. At some point, KPN swapped a pair of wires in the main box. They switched it back, went upstairs to the DSL modem, and the light magically turned back on. Woohoo!!! I have connectivity!!! I guess I can live with the fact that it was lucky for me that it was their problem to begin with. Hopefully I haven’t been charge for 6 weeks of DSL while they figured out their mistake. But I am connected, so I am happy.